The Bread Slicer doesn’t Work

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This blog follows on from Seth Godin’s article titled “Lying to your customers”.

Seth went into the UK equivalent of B&Q called Home Depot in the USA. See my post here about Home Depot.

It’s scary that the two largest DIY chains on different continents have the same corporate colour schematic - orange. Or as I call it FF6600 because I use it too. And as you in the UK know the third multinational to this blog who uses orange as their corporate colours is - Sainsbury’s. Please - no conspiracy theorist responses required! But then…

Anyway, back to Seth’s episode at Home Depot. But first, in UK we know Sainsbury’s supermarkets because of chef Jamie Oliver and his million GBP endorsement of the supermarket chain in a string of cutsy media adverts. I use Sainsbury because it is convenient and the meat there is way, way better than any other supermmarket. Despite the TV documentary/expose’ on very bad and unhealthy treatment of meat by individuals at Sainsbury’s at Didcot, I still buy Sainsbury’s meat products. I am just picky and careful so I buy from the deli section where I can see the meat beforehand and after selection, I can watch it being cut to my specs in front of me.

But my Sainsbury’s at Newbury has a bad habit. Similar in every way to what Seth encountered at Home Depot. The bakery staff leave a poorly handwritten card that reads “Bread Slicer is Broken” on the bakery counter. This does not help me or any of the people queueing up to have bread sliced. The only difference between Seth and I in this story is that he needed wood to be sawed, while I needed bread to be sliced. Common denominator to this story is the saw or blade! Or is it the card?

At Newbury Sainsbury’s, the bakery section is devoid of human life whenever I go to do some grocery shopping which includes buying a large loaf of crusty Farmhouse bread. I don’t know why they do not pre-slice enough loaves during the day to cater for going home office workers who always pop in on the way home to do a little shopping for essentials.

To me it is logical. Planning is all it takes to satisfy a lot of office workers who need bread sliced. Not the Hovis or Warbuton’s variety. It is pap! And how long will it take to slice say 30 loaves (mixed variety) to be kept behind the counter or put on the shelf at the appropriate time of day for people like me? Then the bakery staff can go home and not leave the poorly handwritten card that reads “Bread Slicer is Broken” on the bakery counter. When I see the card, I go in search of the two regular staff I have seen behind the counter from previous shopping expeditions. On one occassion I found them up near the cosmetics section chatting up the female assistants. They thought I was joking when I appeared loaf in hand and demanded that they slice my loaf!

It is blatant that the bread slicer is not broken. The staff are just damn lazy. Not motivated which is no suprise here in UK but to read what they do at Home Depot in America where the only experiences I have had in America at the hands of sales assistants has been incredible, eyepoppingly and outrageously good, comes as a shock to learn.

I rated American workers so high. Damn. I do hate having allusions shattered on a Bank Holiday Weekend. Especially if it happens on Sunday.