Expanding Comfort Zones

October 4th, 2007 | Global

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“I am always doing things I can’t do - that’s how I get to do them.” -Pablo Picasso

When I first began studying personal development and success in the late 1980’s, many people were teaching a “no-pain, no-gain” philosophy best summed up by the Tony Robbins catchphrase “If you can’t, you must!” The idea was that your limitations are all in your mind, and the way to prove that to yourself was to continually force yourself to do what you don’t want to do, don’t think you can do, or simply feel uncomfortable about
doing.

While some people did achieve personal breakthroughs as they walked on fire, broke boards with their palms or even arrows with their throats, the philosophy rarely transferred well from the training room to the boardroom or bedroom. Old habits of fear would creep back in and over time, even the people who were successful at pushing themselves through their discomfort were so tired from all the adrenaline bursts that they would lose
their enthusiasm for their work and at times for their lives.

My own philosophy of is based on my “no pain, no pain” philosophy, and can perhaps best be summed up with this little “poem”:

If you don’t want to, you don’t have to
If you do want to, you don’t have to
But you could, because you can
And if you can and you want to
You probably will!

Here’s how you can work with these ideas to expand your comfort zone without having to hyperventilate or burst a blood vessel:

The next time you find yourself wondering whether to move forward, hold back or walk away, ask yourself “What would I do if I wasn’t afraid?” Then instead of trying to push yourself to “feel the fear and do it anyway” so that your comfort zone will expand, *expand your comfort zone BEFORE you take action.*

That is, just because something feels uncomfortable when you first think about doing it doesn’t mean you need to do it before you get (at least mostly) comfortable with it.

What follows are my three favorite ways to bring new things into your comfort zone in an extremely comfortable way…

1. Never do anything for the first time

“Always act as if you have already accomplished what it is you are setting out to accomplish.” -Joe Batten

Nearly every successful athlete in the world talks about the power of mental rehearsal - vividly imagining every step of a race or every shot on a golf course before they ever set foot into the arena. By the time they are actually in competition, they’ve seen themselves succeed in their mind’s eye so many times it seems like they’ve actually been there before.

In order to practice Mental Rehearsal for yourself, try this mini-experiment:

a. Think about something you want to do but are uncomfortable when you think about doing it

b. Relax! Imagine yourself in the most comfortable chair or sofa in your home, about to watch some home movies of yourself succeeding.

c. Watch movie after movie of you successfully doing whatever it is you are wanting to do. If you have difficulty at first, imagine someone who you know could do it easily doing it, and then put yourself in their shoes until you can do it effortlessly as well.

When you have expanded your comfort zone to the point where you can think about doing it with ease, it’s time to take action and do it for yourself!

2. Create a self-fulfilling prophecy

“A self-fulfilling prophecy is an assumption or prediction that, purely as a result of having been made, cause the expected or predicted event to occur and thus confirms its own ‘accuracy’” -Paul Watzlawick

Most of us are capable of talking ourselves out of anything, but here’s a way to use that ability to talk yourself into doing what you want to do anyways. This exercise is adapted from “You Can Have What You Want”:

a. Choose an outcome, intention or goal to focus on

b. Begin the process of ‘proving’ to yourself you can have what you want. To do this, complete the following sentence as many
times as you want in relation to your goal:

“I know I can create this in my life because…; for example,…”

Here’s how you might apply this if you are afraid to make an important phone call for work:

*I want to feel totally comfortable in my body when I phone Bob.

I know I can create this in my life because…

- I feel totally comfortable at other times in my life; for example when I’m in the bath, or talking with my friends on the phone, or even just walking down the street listening to my iPod.

- the more I practice something, the more comfortable I feel;

for example:

when I first started making calls at my old job I found it really difficult, but now I don’t even think about it;

when I first learned to drive I could barely remember to breathe but now I’m completely comfortable with it;

when I first began singing Karaoke I needed to have a few beers in me but now I do it sober (but don’t tell anyone! :-))

3. Give yourself permission to fail

“Ever notice that ‘What the hell’ is always the right decision?” -Marilyn Monroe

Perhaps the simplest of all the comfort-generating ways to expand your comfort zone is to take the pressure of yourself to get it right, whatever “it” happens to be. You can do this by doing a simple “downside” evaluation:

a. Ask yourself “What’s the worst can happen?”

b. If it’s not that bad, go for it!

Today’s experiment is a simple one - take one thing which you’d like to do that is currently sitting outside your comfort zone and using any or all of the techniques in this tip, invite it to come inside…

PS - We’re going to be giving away copies of Paul McKenna’s new book and CD, “I Can Make You Rich!” on the radio show this week! Here’s a little contest so you can have a chance to win a book even if you can’t get on air:

1. Click here for Genius Catalyst Forums and log-in or register.

2. Click on the “MNCT/Radio Show” forum and the “I Can Make You Rich! Contest thread.

3. Write down your best answer to this question:

If you woke up one morning in a place where you knew no one, with $100 in your pocket, how long would it take you to double your money and how would you do it?

We’ll announce the winner or winners on air and on the forums after the show!

WANT TO LEARN MORE?

Here are some of my favorite resources for comfortably expanding your comfort zone…

Books and Audio

*Feel Happy Now! by Michael Neill (UK edition)

*The Fear Book by Cheri Huber

*Instant Confidence by Paul McKenna (UK edition)

*Loving What Is by Byron Katie (CD version)

*You Can Have What You Want by Michael Neill

Go and get many more Inspirational Tips for a Better Life by clicking on the little picture below!