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If life came bottled, would you buy LIFE Full or LIFE Lite?
Lite is an edited version of Full. It is smooth, streamlined, shallow, bland on the palette, low on aroma, beige coloured and has saccharine instead of sugar and other non-life threatening ingredients such as lack of courage to take on a challenge, no goals, diluted ambition and minimal hurt.
LIFE Lite is harmless.
It is boring but you can live to a ripe old age if you decide on this bottle. It is referred to on the street as ‘SAFE’. There are no adventures or surprises. LIFE Lite just glides smoothly on day after day with its own particular rhythm, helping you to avoid all the exciting bits in life like groping Thelma on the back seat of dad’s car at the drive-in, breaking a leg, cutting a finger, getting into a fight in which your wire coathanger thrashing elder sister threatens your existence, school exams, fraternity life, career decision & denting your car etc etc. It is dull, dull, dullsville. But you live to an old age and maybe get to see man colonize Mars.
Or you could go for the LIFE Full which contains every hazardous substance known to man and includes interaction with salad bars, other humans, Burger King, Big Macs, Frank Zappa, wars, murders, TV soaps, fatty food, heart attacks, cancer, the joys of love, birth, the suicidal depressions of heartbreak, Zanussi washing machines, river fishing and not putting them back, rock and classical music, muzak in lifts (elevator music), Foghat, Zeppelin, The Who, Metallica, strip poker, underage drinking, mourning and grieving the death of family, friends and relations, acne, braces, mortgages, eating fruit, no flossing, zero fabric conditioner, traffic jams, toxic managers at work, teenage sex, war, terrorism, adult infidelity, redundancy, The Sun, technobilge, unemployment, new career, new life, illness, good health, mumps ‘n measles, bad times, riding horses, buying non-ecofriendly light bulbs, politics, good times, reruns of High Noon, Sound of Music, Sin City, Casablanca and Apollo 13 and just take on LIFE in all its glorious unpredictability and loving it.
Make a choice. Do it now. So much more can happen when you make a decision.
Choices: LIFE lite or LIFE full
11 comments ↓
Life FULL all the way..
Correct answer. I would expect nothing less from you.
Can I choose the option without braces??!?!
I actually always thought saying NO to braces was embracing life. It takes guts to walk around with what my dentist once termed as “endearing gaps”!!
Thiose gaps were there to let you sluk your mielie pap and beef stew through! No need for toothpicks!
i’ll have a double of the harmless stuff on the rocks thanks.
Life Nano, in pink please.
Robin & Misty - I am out of Life lite!
A stranger called by and took all my stock. I think he said it was for a party - the Labour Party!
Utterly glorious, heartbreaking, pulse-soaring, tear-stained, uproarious laughterfilled, occassionally very quiet & small : LIFE full rich and beautiful in all it’s wild moodswings. Why the hell else are we alive if not to LIVE?
so my order would be: Str8 up sir, mainline this earthly experience please.
Risk when in the company of those fellow brave of heart is not nearly as terrifying: those who cheer us for attempting even if we fall on our bum, when we don’t look the least bit elegant or f*ck up royally.. that’s the kind of safety net that works best for down to the core SAFETY.
Life lite can’t hope to compare to the strength of that security.
I think it may’ve been Somerset Maugham who said that only the mediocre are always at their best (those who dare will without a doubt look foolish & dishevelled on the windy road to magnificence).
You’re right - living heartily doesn’t mean that we go out & take on assinine challenges or spearhead a revolution, most of the time it’s just actually living and yielding to the sometimes messy bits and not going numb because you’ve been sore before. Hail to those who can repeatedly trip, stumblefall & brush themselves off & give it vooma again >>
Thank you for being one of my little band of the brave Robert the Bruce.
“Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the grey twilight that knows not victory nor defeat”
I sense that you enjoy life yes?
Hell yeah, I’ll drink to your words Max. Well put.
LOL.. always too damn intense. thank heavens I can laugh at myself..eish!
em, so I think that’s a yeah.
maybe a polite little hell yeah if we may be so bold
Pray be as bold as you wish to be. I enjoy bold.
Bold is the new future. Bold shouts loud at me that life is to be enjoyed sans regret.
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