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Did you know that with Google’s patent search capability, you can search and find some very interesting patents by movie stars and world famous singers like Michael Jackson?
Ironic Sans blog uncovered patents (click on the patent # numbers below) by some celebrities such as:
Eddie Van Halen (Patent #4,656,917 — Musical instrument support)
Michael Jackson (Patent #5,255,452— Method and means for creating anti-gravity illusion)
Marlon Brando (Patent #6,812,392 —Drumhead tensioning device and method)
Zeppo Marx (Patent #3,473,526 — Cardiac pulse rate monitor)
Harry Connick, Jr. (Patent #6,348,648 — System and method for coordinating music display among players in an orchestra )
Penn Jillette, Magician (Patent #5,920,923 — Hydro-therapeutic sensual stimulator)
Go take a look for here at Ironic Sans for some more celebs and their inventions. So it proves that not all the stars are airheads! One star’s invention is allegedly, “the basis for ‘all’ contemporary cell phone technology”!
It makes you wonder then what they might have been had the silver screen or a gold record not called them to act or sing.
Celebrity Inventions
I have no faith in Technorati. Is there anyone outhtere who can show me and so prove that the ranks they reckon your blog is listed at is correct?
I check my ranking often (sad, sad person that I am), and am perplexed that the screen states it was last updated 20 minutes ago BUT posts from yesterday going back a week don’t feature. Now why do I think something is not quite right here?!! Mmmmmm must I be a rocket scientist to work this out? Nah I can’t be bovvered mate!
Technorati stinks. So why do people like me still kowtow and offer sacrifices up to this error prone cranking system? Is it a case of follow the leader like a lemming? Or is it a case of living in hope that one day soon one of my posts will be picked up by RongorRati and lead millions of visitors like the Pied Piper’s rats to my blog and make me King of Blogosphereland for 3 - 15 minutes?
You decide.
Who among you has not yet fallen foul of a delayed take-off? I bet there are not too many of you.
Who among you got so darned tired of hearing the same old lame language being used over the departures tannoy system? I am willing to bet that most of you have suffered this annoyance and wished you could take pliers to the speaker wires and cut-off the source of frustration.
Who among you have had to wait over 8 hours before hearing why a delay has occured?
Who among you had connecting flights to catch at the destination?
Who among you had family or friends waiting for hours at your destination’s arrivals hall to greet you?
Who among you suspected you were not being told the complete truth about why the delay had occured?
Who among you is sick to death of hearing that the delay is due to ‘operational problems’?! What is ‘operational problem’? A leaf on the runway? Wrong type of snow? A baggage handler strike? A drunk pilot? A security alert?
Why can’t airlines just tell the truth so everyone of the 200 - 400 passengers on your flight can either catch another airline’s flight out, call family and friends at the destination to reschedule and finally to just allow us to sit back and while away the time without having to continually ask information for updates?
Who among you cannot understand why airlines do not tell you the truth so that you can reset your own expectastions, relax and adjust your plans and reschedule flights if required?
Remaining captive to a delay in a flight departure lounge at an airport is not the most ideal way to spend a day. However the frustration/anger level is increased tenfold if good and truthful information is not forthcoming regularly. In general, airlines fail miserably to communicate properly. Representatives should be in the loop constantly about what is being done to alleviate/improve or resolve the situation. Hearing “I dunno” from them is no good at all to customers who have paid their hard-earned money over to the airline in good faith.
What is the worst situation you have found yourself subjected to by an airline?
In this my 3rd email inteview, I asked John Dodds of Make Marketing History, to answer 12 questions. John is absolutely a must read. Daily. You must read John’s blog daily. If you want to know about marketing and other stuff and if you want someone to prod something or anyone with a metaphorical pointed stick, then John Dodds is your man. Do not ask Don Quixote types to do what John can and does achieve with such ease and aplomb.
Who is John Dodds? His biographical detail is as you’d expect, to the point:Marketing/Business Consultant with background in public and private sector businesses in UK and US including most consumer media industries.
John is not afraid to call a shovel a bloody spade and tackle issues head on. He is super intelligent and has a razor sharp, vermouth dry Namib desert arid sense of humour. I dig it. Now please read on.
Question #1
During your last two senior years at high/grammar school, were you already aspiring to go into the career you have now carved out for yourself? If yes ? why?
Not exactly – the British education system is strictly delineated and at the “higher” levels, the goal is “going to university” rather than vocational. That said, I studied economics because I imagined I would go into “business” whatever that was and because “business studies” at undergraduate was frowned upon (and indeed only available at lesser colleges). I also had a passion for media, as I still do, so the fact that I ended up working in those sort of companies initially does I guess suggest a degree of subconscious planning.
Question #2
What would your alternative career selection have been?
Looking back, I obviously should have been an investment banker. This being more realistic and financially rewarding than the gigolo option.
Question #3
What did you begin to study at college and/or end up receiving a degree in? Explain why if it differed and explain the rationale behind your final selection.
I studied economics as described above and didn’t change – university is much more specialized than in the US and you spend all your three years studying essentially one subject or subject areas (no two years of liberal arts for us). This leads to European derision of US undergraduate but having done my masters in the US, I think the derision should be directed to the indolence of UK university courses.
Question #4
Have you purchased any books during a pique of enthusiasm but have not yet read it/them? Why and if yes, which book(s)?
I have a copy of Catch 22 which I’ve never been able to get past 20 pages of and I never get past page 150 of The Magus…but otherwise I tend to read what I buy.
Question #5
What music genre do you like listening to most? Who or which band influenced your early musical preferences?
My philosophy on this is that there are two types of music - good and bad –and that applies across genres with the exception of jazz funk and jungle! Great influences would be early boot-legged Springsteen, Warren Zevon, Richard Thompson and The Clash. But that’s just what comes to mind at this moment. I’ve also enjoyed house music in recent years as being more alive than live music.
Question #6
Given a choice of vacation, where would you go to experience an ideal holiday? And what is the best bit about a vacation for you, the travel to or the arrival? Why?
The actual vacation would be best for me so the arrival is the nearest to that – most travel per se is hardly exciting.
I like to visit real people so any readers in far off places would be good hosts. I’ve traveled mostly to US but I should venture elsewhere. It’s who you’re with rather than where you are that is crucial I think.
Question #7
What legacy would you like to be remembered for?
For changing the face of marketing and becoming immensely wealthy – that seems sufficiently portentous a response to a question I’m afraid I can’t take seriously. In other words, it’s not for me to contemplate let lone judge my legacy.
Question #8
You walk into the Pearly Gates pub. Who would you really like to bump into to have a few pints with and ask some questions of? What would you ask this person?
I wish I had a smart answer – but I find this just overwhelming. I’d have questions for anyone I met, but in terms of isolating a single historical giant, my mind goes blank.
Question #9
Who would you like to play you in a Hollywood movie about your life? And who would be your ?nemesis? in the movie? Why?
My nemesis would be a crazed gang of Amazonion beauties - because if you’ve gotta go, you might as well enjoy it and it would be nice to be chased by attractive women for once. As for me, I think Helena Christensen should replicate the Hilary Swank Oscar strategy and cross dress – this would generate lots of pre publicity and require her to do a lot of research with me.
Question #10
Has your marketing career progressed in a way you previously envisaged it would? If yes - provide a few salient examples of how.
I never plan careers, I have always been deeply uncomfortable around the where do you see yourself in five years questions. Indeed I find most job interview questions to be fatuous. I am not living in the US and that is something of a surprise.
Question #11
Has blogging had a big impact on your personal life and career? ie Has blogging placed extra demands on your time? When are you most creative? Morning or evening? Do you only blog at certain times of the day or night?
I’ve met some of the people I used to read thanks to blogging and others that I didn’t. I have established many relationships /friendships with fascinating people around the world – I wish this had been possible ten years ago or I had started earlier because it is finely attuned to my way of meeting people. It’s better than making small talk at conferences or cocktail dos. Then these interactions turn into coffee mornings, pubcrawls geek dinners etc
The tyranny is the need to write daily – I started daily posting in order to build a critical mass of posts and now am struggling to wind it down. It doesn’t place extra time demands since I blog quickly – and also while doing other stuff – I draft stuff and have posts waiting to go or at least the bones of them. There is no specific time – its when the muse strikes – for example I drafted the skeleton of a post in three minutes at a new year’s party – my friend thought I was writing down someone’s number.
I occasionally wrote articles or snippy letters to publications before blogging and this replaces that.
Question #12
Is there a cultural vacuum in your life?
No, I can’t afford fancy brands of home appliances and I don’t fall for their marketing anyway.
END
Interview John Dodds
