Entries from December 2006 ↓

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The Fly and the Frog VW Advert

I said this in a comment on an article about airlines:

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Quality service like we used to get is only available as an exception nowadays. Remember when being an air hostess was so the in-career to have and pilots were treated like astronauts, and ground staff were wannabe air hostesses who had everything to gain if they proved themselves good and diplomatic at line management,(’scuse the pun here!), and calming down potential riotous customers?

Well those days are long gone and I think the British Airways cabin crew are the pits. Worst of all airlines I have unfortunately travelled with. They are rude, abrupt, and operate on the ’shut up eat up so we can clean away and gather in the aft galley for a sleep and a gossip’ philosophy and screw the passenger who presses the button for attention!

I always avoid flying with BA at all costs and cringe when I am forced to use them. I feel like I am a steerage low class poor sod who is doing them a favour.

Respect for us who dish out the money that keeps them in the job they are in is non-existent. In the terminal and up in the sky.

I can empathise with you and your trio of queue (we call lines ‘queues’)hopping.

Thanks so much for letting me rant about the airline I hate so much! Gosh I feel so much better now! Tea anyone?
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Has anyone else got a particular airline they hate? Well if you do let us read about it. Post your comments and we can see who has had the worst experience so we can score the airline out of ten and then publish the results.

Which Airline Do you Hate Flying With?

I never thought I’d see these again. Nostalgia galore!

Well IE6 and a 15″ monitor do not make for complete viewing of the site!!

I will be working on the problem until I get it sorted out. LAst night the sidebar didn’t even show up on a 17″ monitor so that proved to me there is a more serious issue at hand. I tried a rollback too to no avail.

Meanwhile I apologise for the loss of the sidebar.

Further to my post about restaurant team work here, I copy below a prime example of how the waiters in New York have created a code by which to work to ensure you, the customer, get the quality service you expect.

The extract is form Jonathan Tisch’s book The Power of We (page 89):

Emeril Lergasse told Jonathan. “We have both a front waiter and a back waiter serving any particular table. One of our commandments for service is that your cocktail order should be taken within 15 seconds of your being seated.

Now, how do we make sure that both waiters know whether the order has been placed? We use the salt and pepper shakers on your table. When you sit down, the two shakers are separated; when one of the waiters takes your drink order, he or she puts them together.

That way you won’t be bothered by a second waiter asking you about drinks. It’s a little thing most people would never notice, but that’s what great service is all about— little things that add up to a big difference.”

It is so simple but ever so effective and I bet you will now keep a look out for the Waiter Code whenever you go to dine out!

SIDEBAR:
Apologies folks - I have the sidebar problem again. I am working to reslove it. I presume my FF and IE6 visitors will not see the sidebar. Sorry.

Despite correcting the css code after a full back-up and restore this weekend, it seems that the fix does not want to take.

AUTO-RESPONDER:
Interesting thing happened on Friday night. I got an email from a A listed blogebrity whom I respect greatly. Apparently my auto-reponder has created a blitz of emails to his inbox. I suspect that my auto-responder has been caught in a spamming loop of some sort. I do not know how else to explain it.

I apologise if you too are receiving these. I turned off the auto-responder so the ’spams’ from my auto-responder should stop. Please let me know if you still receive them.

Makes for an interesting Monday. Hope yours is better than mine!

Here is the First half of December 2006 edition of wise words from my friend Michael.

For the festive season, Michael is extracting reindeer out of the magician’s hat and still he comes up with a winner of a topic! Read it NOW!.

TURNING CRITICISM INTO GOLD by Michael Neill

“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try to please everyone.” -Bill Cosby

I have a confession to make: I *hate* criticism. Hate it, hate it, hate it. For example, when people criticize what I write, it makes me want to curl up into a little ball on the floor and cry. I then fantasize about punishing my critic in some way, usually by sending off a letter so brilliantly clever that they see the error of their ways and resolve never to have the temerity to question anything I write ever again.

There are only two problems with this strategy:

1. If I actually followed through with it, people would learn to keep their opinions to themselves and I would never get the kind of honest feedback that is essential if I want to get better at what I do.

2. It’s really difficult to write a good letter while curled up in a little ball on the floor.

Although the majority of the feedback I have received over the years has been incredibly positive, I have also received a few pieces of hate mail (sorry - ‘literary criticism’) that felt
like being slapped in the face. What has kept me moving forward in the face of such vitriol are two strategies I have learned over the years which enable me to ‘mine the gold’ in even the harshest criticism and bounce back stronger and wiser than before:

1. Separate the pain from the person
In his book ‘The Mastery of Love’, Don Miguel Ruiz suggests the following thought experiment:
Imagine you are visiting a planet where everyone has a terrible skin disease. Their bodies are covered with infected wounds which hurt any time they are touched. Even unintentionally
brushing up against someone with these wounds can trigger incredible pain in them.

Now, recognize that this is a description of life on planet Earth only the wounds are emotional, not physical. When you recognize that people’s pain comes not from you but from their own unhealed wounds, it is easier to hear what they are trying to say without taking their hostility personally.

2. Separate the gold from the sand
According to author Steven K. Scott, every criticism contains water, sand and gold. The water is the ‘noise’ in the criticism - the words that carry the message but don’t say much in and of
themselves. The sand is the bit that stings - the part of the criticism you find virtually impossible not to take personally and it hurts to read, hear or even consider it. The gold is
the nugget of truth in the criticism - the piece that if you took it to heart, you would be able to change things for the better.

While panning for the gold in a particularly harsh criticism can be difficult, the effort is inevitably worthwhile. Here’s an excerpt from a recent e-mail I received about ‘You Can Have What You Want’:

***What a PILE of ROT. ANYONE CAN TAKE any anecdotes, make them up and come up with the same. Who are the idiots who are spending even A DIME On You… All you did was take the same bubble gum the new agers in the US have been chewing and chew it and spit it out another WAY…You jerk who blows up peoples hopes and expectations. You friggin charlatan like all the rest Sales Jerks who will close anything no matter the fraud.***

Now, when I first read this (and I’m only reprinting the reprintable parts!), I was pretty well knocked sideways. But when I got some perspective on it (using the exercise in today’s
experiment) and was able to recognize the writer’s pain and let go of taking it personally, I was then able to ‘pan’ the criticism for gold…

Water:
Phrases like “What a pile of rot”, and “who are the idiots…?” They are impersonal generalizations and easy to let wash over me.

Sand:
The phrase which really stung me was “You friggin charlatan…who will close anything no matter the fraud“. I have worked so hard over the years to always put the well-being of my clients and readers ahead of the well-being of my bank account that I found it extremely irritating to be accused of doing the opposite.

Gold:
For me, the gold was in the line “…who blows up people’s hopes and expectations”. On reflection, I realized that I often underestimate just how much people feel they have to lose if
they begin to believe in the possibility of a better life.

When I talk about having what you want and creating a life that makes you go ‘Wow!’ in the future, I will make more of a point of stressing the difference between “getting your hopes up” and “raising your expectations”.

Raising your expectations is a recipe for pain. While high expectations do occasionally lead to high performance, as often as not they lead to a sense of failure when our results don’t live up to our fantasies. As Dr. Richard Bandler, the co-developer of NLP often says, “Disappointment takes adequate planning.”

Yet hope - the belief in the possibility that tomorrow can be better than today - carries with it the energy and inspiration to make it so.

Today’s Experiment:

Today’s experiment is loosely based on a model for responding to criticism originally developed by Steve and Connirae Andreas. I suggest you practice it with small criticisms until you become comfortable with it. You may find it a bit tricky at first, but your effort will be rewarded…

1. Imagine yourself at a distance - see yourself (or someone who looks and sounds remarkably like you) ‘over there’. We’ll call that you (2)…

2. Now, imagine that ‘other you’ (2) is being criticized ‘over there’. Be sure to imagine (2) feeling relaxed and resourceful. If you find yourself getting agitated, you can imagine you’re watching (2) from behind a glass wall and put as much distance between you as you need to feel comfortable.

3. Watch (2) evaluating the criticism. Notice them ask questions like:

*Is the person doing the criticizing qualified in this area?

*What is the motive for the criticism? Is it to be of service and assistance or to strike out in pain, fear or anger?

*What is the water in this criticism? What is the sand? What is the gold?

4. Now, watch (2) brainstorm ways of doing things differently in the future, incorporating the ‘gold’ but letting go of the water and sand. See them actually rehearse doing things in the new way until it feels possible and even ‘normal’ to behave in this new way.

5. Decide which of the new strategies you have discovered you will incorporate into your life going forward.

Go and get many more Inspirational Tips for a Better Life by clicking on the little picture below!

Copyright 2006 Michael Neill

TURNING CRITICISM INTO GOLD by Michael Neill

It needed ’something’ so jaw-droppingly unique and good, something that blew my socks off and something which is a lesson to aspiring entrepreneurs, corporate managers, department heads, supervisors and team leaders alike to force me to write this piece. It is compelling. To me at least it is. To you? Well read on and see if you can recognize the work of art that the dynamic rinse bleu is.

The ’something’ about which I am about to write is probably taken for granted by hundreds of thousands of people each day. These same people are probably sipping their coffee as you read this blissfully unaware that they have been subjected to, participated in and the recipient of something so fine it escapes our concience’s ability to click on the realisation that the ’something’ has happened to them.

The ’something’ is so subtle, slick and yet overt, that by reading on you will only then realise that you experienced it on many previous occassions before but did not know you did. What am I talking about? I am talking about the uniqueness that is the American diner and the better restaurants of New York.

Yes, I believe that the corner diner through to the exclusive chic eaterie delivers the ’something’ to you and hundreds of thousands of people each day, each hour, each minute of every day and the best thing is, you never knew that what you experienced is in my opinion the best example of ‘it’ in the western world.

The thunderbolt of realisation struck me last week while I was eating my corned beef hash and eggs over easy at the uptown Carnegie Diner. It occured to me that what I was witnessing and part of was a live and very sophisticated display of teamwork management in action. There I was sat observing it swirling smoothly around me while it operated without a glitch like a well oiled machine under extreme pressures. It purred along so smooth so overt yet so invisible to all those whose only focus was on getting their breakfast order taken and that first sip of coffee.

I was witnessing excellence in service. And guess who was delivering it? The waiting staff is who delivered it. That is who. Not only were these guys n gals masters of the job, they were very, very experienced at the job as any 50 - 60+ year old should be. The title of the article is Dynamic Rinse Bleu, or The Blue Rinse Dynamic. At each of the diners I visited I was so pleased to see that the waiting staff was in the main made up of over 50’s. Hence the reference to the blue rinses the ladies of yesteryear used to have done to disguise their gray hair. The Blue Rinse Dynamic is a celebration of a working principle that this age group and only this age group are equipped to deliver to each customer who comes to their diner or restaurant.

There it is - part of the secret of why The Blue Rinse Dynamic works so well - the age group of the staff and why the diner and restaurant owners keep these mature professionals on at the job. Only these people could cope with the demands of the job (complaining dissatisfied customers), while creating the environment within which their unwritten teamwork management principles can be applied to benefit each customer and their team so successfully. Who wants to calm a frazzled customer whose french toast arrives burnt - not me but not only would the excellent waiting staff could convince the plaintiff to keep the toast, they’d also convince you to eat the burnt stuff ‘cos a bit of charcoal is good for the digestive system! Or on the other hand they’d whisk the brnt offerings away in a flourish, apologise and resupply you witrh fresh unburnt toast and a genuine smile and show of gratitude that you have elected to remain and spend your money with them.

At Ben Benson’s fantastic 52nd street restaurant famous for their steaks, I watched the entire waiting crew have fun on the job. They laughed with their customers and each other and all the while helped each other without being asked or screamed at by the boss. They supported one another. I saw them clearing tables onto a redesigned narrow tea trolley and as another waiter walked by he’sd assist in the clearing operation without being asked. All around the restaurant you’d witness the group helping each other out and ALWAYS being attentive to their customers.

These guys too are a mature compliment of people who have been through the hoops and learned the ropes. I never witnessed any tension among them at all here or at the diners we visited. I was left with the overwhelming thought that all these people formed and supported a working family whose sole aim it is to ensure you and I remember with fondness the visit to their diner or restaurant.

I saw closeknit groups (the waiting staff) interacting with strangers (the customers) and relying on the unwritten code which I think is good old fashioned manners liberally coupled with a degree from the University of Life sprinkled with a few ounces of good work ethic, a secret waiters code and a determination to help the customer experience the best service they or any other establishment could possibly provide. For me the mix of their age, their sense of humour, work ethic and their ability to naturally want to please their customers creates the Blue Rinse Dynamic. The charm each of the waiting crew I interacted with only comes with maturity in years and I was pleased I was part of their fun and witnessed such excellence. The food was excellent too. The conversation at the table was minimal because I was so busy observing professionals at work.

As all restauranteurs know, table turnover is critical. The more bums you can seat at a table each day or night and covers served the more money you earn. I watched as several cstomers came to the end of the dinners and with no pressure at all, the customers paid their bills, left the premises to let the clean-up operation kick in. I’d say that within three (3 ) minutes of the table been vacated it was cleared away and had fresh table linen laid and cutlery setup in readiness for the next guests. And they would arrive within a minute of the table being readied. Not a shabby turnaround at all especially at peak period during service.

Professional staff provide superior service which you experience or rather are actively engaged in it by the staff which then makes your dining experience at their establishment one to remeber always like I will. All because of a dynamic created by a team of people who want to serve you out of choice coupled with a wealth of knowledge and maturity that comes with age.

I loved it and would advise all European restauranteurs to go and experience this fabulous service in New York, bring it home and let visiting New Yorkers taste a slice of superior service here in Europe too.

Dynamic Rinse Bleu

Ann over at Manage To Changetagged me to provide you with 5 Things you do not know about me.

Now I suppose you all know I like a challenge so here goes:

1. You may not know it but I am scared of spiders. Yes, despite my name which is linked to a spider in a small cave in Scotland and defeating the English at the Bannockburn, I am an arachnophobe. I would have legged it out of the cave to face King Edward’s army alone rather than remain hidden with an eight legged creature trying to spin a sodding web!

2. At 17 years old I lied about my age to land a job for the summer vacation as a floor supervisor at a factory. They gave me a job but not as a supervisor. I took charge of a polishing machine - not the janitor’s one. It was a giant industrial steel component polishing machine. I hated it. I used to watch the managers and admin staff wander through the factory and yearned to be the Managing Director. It was a slow dull summer but the pay was good for a teenager.

3. Once in the blistering heat of the S African summer I hiked through and over the Cederberg valleys and peaks for 20 miles, during which I collapsed with and suffered dehydration while carrying a case of Castle lagers along with 2 days worth of clothes and food a sleeping bag and a tent in my backpack. Why? I did not trust the other hikers to complete the hike with all 24 beer cans intact!!

4. For the first 16 years of my life, I was a chronic asthmatic. This did not prevent me from playing sport (badly except swimming) like cricket, footie, rugby, judo, swimming and running barefoot cross-country races across the Namib desert. It also did not stop me agreeing to become a member of an experimental rowing squad which cured my asthma after 3 months of physical fitness and stamina building and learning to scull and row at bow in a four and eight. I was subjected to the Ratzeberg Style of training and last used Ventolin 3 months after I started rowing. Not ever again have I had an asthma attack and today my lung litre capacity is still well above the average. So, get rowing if you suffer asthma.

5. I have always wanted to be an entrepreneur. My father had two businesses but never taught me anything about entrepreneurialship. He wanted me to do law and practice at the law firm his brother founded. I bailed out of law after my 1st year of study and escaped to Europe where I ended up earning money by moving offices in Athens and labouring for a construction firm building ski lodges at Kitzbuhl during winter!

There is more, plenty. Like the time I got caught with my hiking boots off at night in the ladies dorm at a hostel in Salzberg but I will leave this and the rest for another 5 Things challenge.

Now I must tag some of you and whilst this is not easy, it does give me pleasure to tag:

Erik at WhiteAfrican
David at WozaFriday.com
Champers at ChampagneHeathen
Pamela Slim at Escape From Cubilcle Nation

Have fun everyone!

Another of my favourite bloggers keeps coming up with superb topics and content. How I wish I could write half as well as Matthew at Bad Language does.

Anyway here is Matthew’s gem on how to write a blog like a pro. He lists 18 points to get you writing the blog of all mothers. I mean the mother of all blogs! Like a professional.

Go read it HERE

How To Blog Like A Pro by Matthew Stibbe

Here are more words of wisdom from my friend Michael. He always pulls a rabbit out the hat and here, he comes up with a winner of a topic! Read on and enjoy.

THE SCALE OF EMOTIONS

“Behind every desire is the desire to feel good.” -from the teachings of Abraham

The ‘Law of Attraction’ is in the news a lot these days - in fact, CNN pundit Larry King recently devoted two complete shows to discuss the idea that our thoughts and emotions create (or
at least co-create) our reality.

While I will save a longer exploration of what I believe to be the pros and cons of this approach for another tip, this week I wanted to explore with you a specific tool I use to ‘measure’ your level of ‘emotional attractiveness’ in relation to an issue or goal.

(I first learned this tool when studying the work of Lester Levenson, alternately known as ‘The Sedona Method’ or ‘The Release Technique’, depending on which school you learn it from.
See the ‘Want to Learn More?’ section at the end of the tip to learn more!)

Essentially, there are nine emotional states you can be experiencing in any moment when you are working with a goal that make up a ’scale of emotions’, ranging from the least ‘attractive’ (sometimes described as ‘lowest vibration’) to the most ‘attractive’ (or ‘highest vibration’).

The higher up the scale you go, the more energy you have for your goals and the faster and more easily you will attract what you want to you.

Here are the nine ‘notes’ of the emotional scale:

1. Apathy
Apathy is the ‘dead’ feeling that so many people experience as a sort of depression or indifference to life. In relation to your goals, it stems from a kind of learned hopelessness - “Nothing you do is going to matter anyways”, apathy tells us, “so you may as well not do anything.”

It is sometimes mistaken for ‘peace’ because of the absence of emotional variance - the difference is, peace actually feels good!

2. Grief
If you feel a great sense of sadness or loss when you think about your goals, you are resonating with the frequency of grief. This is an evolution from the hopelessness of apathy to
the helplessness of despair. “It could have happened”, grief says, “but it won’t - at least not for you, not anymore.”

3. Fear
When you begin to see that what you want really is possible to have, grief often gives way to fear. “You could have what you want”, says fear, “but it would cost you so much you’ll regret
it for the rest of your life - which might be over sooner than you think if you actually go for this!”

The important thing to remember is that if you’re feeling fear, you’ve already turned a corner - you have moved from hopelessness to helplessness to possibility (albeit a vague and frightening one).

4. Lust
As you get more comfortable with the idea of having what you want, lust (as in need and greed) tends to kick in. This is for me the real meaning of the biblical phrase ‘the love of money
is the root of all evil’ - substitute ‘lust’ for ‘love’ and you can see how lusting after lucre could lead to all sorts of moral, ethical and actual dillemas. Lust says “You can have what you want - and then you can get more, and more and more and more and more and then everyone will do your bidding and you can take over the world!!!!”

On the plus side, in order to lust for something you have to have really begun to believe in the possibility of getting it…

5. Anger
The energy of anger burns hot. “Sure you can have what you want”, anger rages, “but look at all these jerks who are trying to stand in your way. You deserve it - how dare they!”

There is actually a lot of energy in anger - it’s just usually directed towards your obstacles, not your goals.

6. Pride
Pride can be a tricky one, because to many people it feels really good. “Look at me”, pride declares. “Aren’t I amazing to have already done so well and gotten so much of what I
want?”

Truth is, you are amazing - but if your energy get stuck in pride it stops moving towards your goals and quickly slides back down into anger that you don’t have more, lust to get it, fear
of losing what you’ve already got, and grief any time you actually lose what you thought was yours to keep.

7. Courageousness
Courageousness is the first truly ‘attractive’ emotion, in that it accepts the possibility that things might not work out but drives you on to go for it anyways. “Screw it!” courageousness
declares - “Let’s do it!”

8. Acceptance
There is an easiness to acceptance which says “I have the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the strength to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the
difference.”

You are still moving forward towards your goals with acceptance, but it is with a sense of ease and lightness that knows the journey is every bit as much of a prize as the destination.

9. Peace
In ‘A Course in Miracles’, readers are encouraged to make peace their only goal. This is because when you have peace in your mind and heart, you need nothing and have everything. Peace doesn’t say much of anything, except to occasionally whisper “Rest easy - all is well.”

When we are at peace, we already have everything we need - and nothing is quite so attractive as a need-less human being.

In order to move up the scale of emotions and become more attractive to the things you want in life, all you need to do is let go of your story - the idea that having what you want will
in any way change your life for the better or for the worse.

When you recognize that you don’t need what you want, you’re free to have it - and freedom is perhaps the ultimate goal…

Today’s Experiment:

Here are a few ways you can play with the scale of emotions in
your own life:

1. Write down three goals - one personal, one relational, and one financial.

Example -
*I want to be a size 10
*I want to get on better with my partner/kids
*I want to double my income next year

2. Now, rewrite the goals in terms of ‘allowing’. If the rest of the goal changes at all, that’s OK too. Notice where you are on the scale of emotions when you think about your new goal statement.

Example -
*I allow myself to be a size 10 and feel great (anger)
*I allow myself to have a wonderful relationship with my
partner/kids (grief)
*I allow myself to double my income in the next twelve months
(lust)

3. Choose one goal to work with. Really focus in on what you are feeling as you think about that goal. When you’ve got hold of the feeling, ask yourself this question:

*Could I let go of wanting to change this?*

Stay with the question until you sense a release or letting go happening. If your answer is “no”, ask yourself if you could let go of wanting to change your answer!

4. Every time you are able to let go of even a little bit of wanting to change, tune back into your goal and your feelings.
Carry on until you feel courageousness, acceptance or peace in relation to it.

Have fun, learn heaps, and enjoy the process!

With love,
michael

PS - ARE YOU A COACH WHO WANTS TO TAKE YOUR PRACTICE TO THE NEXT
LEVEL?

The Coaching Mastery training with Michael Neill is being sponsored by the New York City chapter of the International Coach Federation (ICF) and will be held in downtown Manhattan on
the 20th and 21st of January, 2007.

Topics covered will include:
* How to read your clients like a book
* The seven leverage points for creating change in any coaching conversation
*The Obstacle Analysis Grid
*The five keys to a profitable practice
*The best kept secret in marketing

And much, much more!

There is a special early-bird discount available if you book your place soon!

For more information and booking details, please visit:
http://www.icfnycchapter.org/events_special.php

Copyright 2006 Michael Neill http:www.geniuscatalyst.com

THE SCALE OF EMOTIONS by Michael Neill

The message must go out that if you do not Ooze, certain aspects of some things will collapse. So keep oozing.

Don’t know how to ooze? Just follow “The Dummies Guide To Ooze”

1. Stand in front of the person you want to ooze and gently blow air in their face. Then duck and so avoid their fist that is coming at you at warp speed!

Dummies Guide To Ooze Lesson #1