Entries from December 2006 ↓

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The final post for 2006 has to be a moan at blogosphere’s godfather - Seth Godin for supporting the creation of the blogebrity syndrome via his Zlist post entitled “What to read now/next”

And yet again the list’s flavour is pointedly biased toward marketing blogs. So we must just accept that blogoland is created for marketers? I don’t think so Seth!

More to the point is the language used in Seth’s next post about the list entitled “Zlist Update”. He says, “I’ve been amazed, then delighted and then disturbed by the response to the zlist plexo I posted.

WTF is a ‘plexo’ for crissakes? Why can’t people stop being overly clever and just speak good old fashioned English? Must we always have to look up what is meant or implied in Google or, in my case, the Oxford Concise which I prefer?

Bollocks to that. But I did in this case. See below.

plex·us (plÄ•k’sÉ™s)
n., pl. plexus or -us·es.
A structure in the form of a network, especially of nerves, blood vessels, or lymphatics: the cardiac plexus; the pelvic plexus.
A combination of interlaced parts; a network.

So I am afaraid I have no hope that 2007 will see the emergence of good simple language being used in blogs if the head honcho persists in perplexing his readers. Other drones will emulate. What a pity.

Happy New Year!

The BBC reports the murder of Taliep Petersen.

This is so shocking especially after recently posting the VW adverts that his musical-writing partner David Kramer starred in.

Years ago, I was fortunate to get a ticket to go and see the second night of District Six, written by Taliep Petersen & David Kramer at the Baxter Theatre in Rondebosch, Cape Town. It was superb. I’d like to see it on tour here in UK.

In UK at the moment is Ghoema (see photo above), the latest Kramer/Petersen show. Go see it. Go see it in memory of Taliep.

There is a Stormhoek Geek Dinner in Cape Town at the Redemption Cafe, Hout Bay this Friday 22nd December 2006. Kickoff at 7pm.

If you have not yet registered to attend, then do so NOW! Click on the logo:

Wine is donated by Stormhoek. Such kind guys. Such fine wine. Such a fine time.

Back in January 2006, The Register reported that:

“The US Federal Aviation Authority has responded to the possible threat of terrorist exploitation of the burgeoning space tourism business by drafting some proposed regs to ensure Ossie bin Laden and his mates don’t book themselves aboard Virgin Galactic.

In effect, the FAA says space tourists should be treated the same as airline passengers, with the usual security checks and a quick shufti of the global “no-fly” list to see if the wannabe astronaut has previously been barred from airlines worldwide for attempting to open the door mid-flight in order to have a quick ciggie.”

Read the full article HERE

A new report from The Register states:

FAA: Space tourists must be told of risks

Caution: this could be a one way trip. This is what would-be space tourists will have to be warned before they set off on sub-orbital jaunts, the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has said.

Following the successful launch of SpaceShipOne, the X-Prize winning craft designed by Burt Rutan, the organisation has now finalised the US regulations for passengers and crew on commercial space-planes, Reuters reports.

The rules state that passengers, who may not be younger than 18, must be informed that their journey is potentially a fatal one. It occurs to us that every bus journey is also potentially fatal, but the average double decker is not usually rocket propelled, which we suspect does make a difference.

Read more HERE

I am so shocked that Misty over at MontChan missed this juicy news item:

Villagers fjucked off with international ridicule
By Lester Haines → 18th December 2006 11:

The good burghers of the Swedish village of Fjuckby have decided they’ve had enough of being the butt of fjuck jokes and are demanding a rebrand, The Local reports.

The Fjuckers finger globalisation as the principal cause of their woes, which “has led to rude English-language associations that the villagers could do without”. To add insult to injury, Fjuckby also contains the Swedish word juck, meaning “hump” in the local lingo.

Go read the full article here at The Register

Misty please don’t say it…….don’t!

Swedish Village Residents Demand Rebranding

ZDNet reports that a new “botworm” is on the loose seeking out systems that use Symantec products.

See below:

New ‘botworm’ exploits Symantec flaw
By Joris Evers, CNET News.com
Published on ZDNet News: December 15, 2006, 3:12 PM PT

A new worm that uses a known security hole in Symantec’s corporate antivirus tools to spread has hit the Net, experts warned Friday.

The new “botworm” scans for computers running the vulnerable Symantec software and then attempts to break in.

Go read the full report here

New ‘botworm’ exploits Symantec flaw

Below is another tip from my friend Michael to help you succeed at all you do. This time the inspiration is St Franci of Assissi.

THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE TO DO TODAY by Michael Neill

“Start by doing what’s necessary, then what’s possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible” - St. Francis of Assisi

Here’s the tip:

1. Ask yourself ‘If I was only going to do one thing today, what would it be?’

2. Do whatever it is as if it really is the only thing you have to do today.

While I have long been a fan of ’single-tasking’ as a way of speeding up by slowing down, I have never before experienced the sense of ease and spaciousness that comes with doing each thing as if it is my only task for the day.

For example, last Tuesday I decided that if I was only going to do one thing that day, it would be to do a bit of Christmas shopping for my wife. Instead of dreading the trip to the mall
and trying to get through it as quickly as possible, I found myself slowing down to let cars in at traffic intersections, taking the time to really speak with sales clerks, and enjoying
the leisurely process of choosing the perfect gift. Elapsed time from beginning to end: Just under 2 hours. No stress, no fuss, and completely ready to take on the next ‘only thing’ on
my list, a few hours writing for my book.

Now imagine how it might have gone if I had approached it in the traditional way. I would have raced to the mall, checking my watch every few minutes to make sure I got back with plenty of
time to write and cursing every driver who had the temerity to try and enter MY lane at the traffic intersection. Sales clerks - who needs ‘em! Race through the mall, grab the first thing
that doesn’t suck, try and knock off a few phone calls on the way back to the car, realize I forgot my credit card at the shop and have to go back, silently curse the sales clerk (bah,
humbug!), and race to a fast food restaurant and get a cheeseburger because I’m now far too stressed to write anything. Elapsed time from beginning to end: 1.5 hours.

So I may have saved 1/2 an hour - but it would have cost me a few productive hours of writing time, the fun of buying a thought-full present for the woman I love, and about ten points on my blood pressure reading.

Today’s Experiment:

Just for today, do each thing on your to-do list as if it’s the only thing you have to do today. You may find you do a bit less and take a bit longer, but paradoxically get more done and have more fun doing it.

When you finish one thing, take a few moments to ask yourself ‘If I was only going to do one thing today, what would it be?’

When you have completed all the necessary items on your list and moved on to the possible, you just may find yourself doing the impossible - getting everything done and still finding time to relax and play.

Go and get many more Inspirational Tips for a Better Life by clicking on the little picture below!

Copyright 2006 Michael Neill

THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE TO DO TODAY by Michael Neill

Will you be able to maintain your enthusiasm for blogging during 2007?

Will you still be driven to blog each day and seek out that special entrepreneurial niche that will generate millions of dollars for you?

Will blogging be more difficult in 2007?

Will we find it more difficult to get decent rankings due to SOE changes (again!)?

Will you want to carry on blogging during 2007?

Will ordinary blue chip Multi-National companies adopt and appoint podcasting and blogging to saturate blogosphere with their company’s message?

Will the blogosphere as we know it today remain forever burgeoning in 2007?

Will we be censored in 2007?

UPDATE: Don’t say I never asked or thought the end of the blogosphere expansion as we know it today was closer than some experts apparently predicted. Go see what Technorati’s expert reported some months ago here when I asked, “When Will Blogosphere Implode or Contract“?

Technorati reckoned there was no end in sight. But at the BBC site an article summarising a Gartner prediction contradicts what Technorati said. Others like me do think blogging is like any fad and only serious bloggers who stay the course and maintain their momentum will survive. Some blogging devotees, who may blind themselves to facts about fads, remain adamant that blog creation by individuals may continue to double and retain levels for an indefinate period. They should wake up and smell reality. It smells of, once I have said it, blogged it and struggled to find a creative streak and the novelty wears off and no A Lister Blogebrity listing comes along after a couple of weeks and in fact nobody visits my site so what the hell is this craze alll about and who said it was easy……… oh screw it I’ll forget about it for a while…..

Anyway, you can and should read the BBC article HERE and make up your own mind. Mine is made up. Technorati’s facts are old. They iterate figures from 3 months (a quarter of a year) back when allegedly the rise of blog creation was still riding a hang ten on the blogging wave. But like all surfers know - the wave only gives you a ride that lasts so long.

Blogging in 2007

I was reading Champagne Heathens blog a couple of minutes ago and the title for this post just rolled off onto the page!! Now I wonder why?? I can only write about two of the title’s subject matters as I know nothing about Champagne!

I joke! Unlike a certain party animal who walked into work this morning still pissed, wearing a Christmas part paper hat (from a cracker no doubt) and gagging for a curry, I am grateful I left our staff party at 9pm last night.

I cannot stand this type of pseudo bonding event after a year of enduring being stabbed in the back, ridiculed by your senior managers, slagged off by other department heads, ignored by your own department’s rank and file, demotivated by a boss whose man-mangement skillset was probaby gleaned from a John Cleese management video, a 14 day free trial subscription to Finance Week, the office noticeboard Dilbert cartoon cutouts and a Teach Yourself HR paperback from WH Smths.

Suddenly because it is a celebration of a hard year about to end, I am expected to forgive and forget the snide remarks, the bitter feuds, the rants, the unforgiveable feeling of being isolated and left to the wolves by a boss who does not know how to defend his staff to all barbarians at the gate including the CEO and CFO, the demotivation at the annual appraisal when your good thoughts on the many truly positive impacts on your KRAs your efforts have made to help the company achieve its goal for 2006 go well and truly unrecognised by a boss who does not know how an annual appraisal should be run or that the meeting is about me and how I did my job and not him and how he did this and this and this and solved this and that and how he achieved that. I am sick of my boss’s complete lack of understanding of what we do and how and why we do what we do, the department politics, the wannabe director, the department impimpi, the rifts created by others in their divide and rule plan etc etc etc etc

So that is why the Office party of today is not the event of the year I wish to attend. Yes, I am still fuming and still too bitter as cat’s piss to let the year die quietly only to begin the same nonsense in 17 days time in 2007!! No sir, I want to never forget or forgive the pricks that diddled me out of my 100% bonus, a raise and snuffed out my chance of promotion.

May they rot in hell and their souls be placed on all the dartboards in all the pubs around the world forever. Only then will they know what a prick is and what I want for them to get for being a total doos!

Ok rant over. The post was inspired by a certain slightly off-kilter lady in Jozi who I crave to bits! Have a great day Champers!

Champers, Curry and Lesbians

Ma, haal uit die Kleenex! Here are the VW tearjerker adverts.

Well, it seems that the IE6 issue that the blog template I use is known to not get along with is still holding true. For some reason IE6 does not recognize the maximum width coding so that is why I sit here typing on a crappy IBM R40 laptop with IE6 and a USB port that is totalled not seeing the sidebar.

Meanwhile I am pleased to report that a few of you who use the useless piece of nonsense called Firefox (get the bloodhounds out!) can now see the sidebar in its true location for the very first time. Phew guys, now you can see in its full glory and completely dressed what a magnificant site I created. Kindly send plaudits to plaudits@iscatterlings.com.

We welcome back the Swede Basher to her hovel at Umea located close (but no cigar) to the Arctic circle where they issue rifles to those foolish enough to vwenture out and face off with a hungry Polar bear. Tonght I venture (metaphorically) that there is an entire nation holding its breath waiting for Misty to post her first newest Swede Bashing message. And blow me down with a feather if she does not get fantastic domestic visitor stats as a result. They must be massochists in Sweden!

Before we all get enconsed in the broohaa and drunken revelries that abound this time of year, I want to tell you that I will be in South of France from next Thursday night and will not be blogging unti 03 Jan 2007.

UPDATE:18 December 2006
Over the weekend I pottered around trying to fix the sidebar issue for IE6 users. And guess what? Yes, by pure fluke I adjusted something that amounts to 2xpixels and BINGO! The sidebar should now be in full view for all IE6 users where it belongs. Let me know if you still cannot see it BUT please click your browser refresh button before commenting!

Sidebar and General Update

I have tried to leave comments at two blogs today and have ended up being frustrated as heck.

Below is what is happening now on the combined Google/Blogger anti-spam application. Who was the idiot that allowed this? Who was the numbnuts who did not think things through thouroughly? Why should I have to leave what I am doing to go check if my password is OK???!!

I think I will not try later or at all. Is this good marketing?

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John Dodds at Make Marketing History says

Marketing Is Not.

1. Just For Christmas.

2. False Promises.

3. An Expense.

4. A Branding Paint Job.

5. Just Slogans.

6. A Head Office Function.

7. Glossy And Glamorous.

8. The New Black.

9. Just Promotion.

10. A Department

John is my favourite marketer but I fear he has been persuaded to defect to The Dark Side so below is my version of what marketing is:

Marketers are from the Dark Side

1. Marketing is aimed solely at forcing you to dig deep and remortgage your home to happily assist in the commercialisation of Easter, Xmas, Ramadan, Pesach, Hanukkah, Births and Funerals

2. Marketing is a precise and exact example of the science of misinformation about the meaning of Easter, Xmas, Ramadan, Pesach, Hanukkah, Births and Funerals

3. Marketing is a never-ending cash guzzler for client & endusers alike at Easter, Xmas, Ramadan, Pesach, Hanukkah, Births and Funerals

4. Marketing is an opportunity to rebrand at Easter, Xmas, Ramadan, Pesach, Hanukkah, Births and Funerals

5. Marketing is buzzwords and annoying catchphrases especially at Easter, Xmas, Ramadan, Pesach, Hanukkah, Births and Funerals

6. Marketing is a Head Office’s evil necessity to enforce spending at Easter, Xmas, Ramadan, Pesach, Hanukkah, Births and Funerals

7. Marketing is pastel colours and an A Listers’ Razzmatazz wet dream anywhere especially at the Cruise’s parties and even at Easter, Xmas, Ramadan, Pesach, Hanukkah, Births and Funerals

8. Marketing is the new beige? Not at Easter, Xmas, Ramadan, Pesach, Hanukkah, Births and Funerals

9. Marketing is promotion, promotion, promotion. I reiterate, marketing is promotion, promotion, promotion especially at Easter, Xmas, Ramadan, Pesach, Hanukkah, Births and Funerals

10. Marketing is in a 52 floor building all on it’s own and grinds out it’s false glitz and bad promotion through Easter, Xmas, Ramadan, Pesach, Hanukkah, Births and Funerals Mondays thru Sundays, year in year out.

Marketers Are from The Dark Side