Entries from August 2006 ↓

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“You don’t get what you deserve - you get what you negotiate.” -Chester L. Karass (Part I of P.R.O.F.I.L.E.)

Whether you’re negotiating a peace settlement in a war-torn country or a peace settlement in an argument-ravaged relationship, strong preparation is the key to success.

1. P = Purpose
Knowing why you are engaged in a negotiation may seem obvious in some situations (to buy a lamp, to stop a fight, etc.), but more complex negotiations generally have more complex purposes.

Ask yourself:
-Why am I negotiating?
-What are the potential benefits?
-What do I ultimately hope to achieve?

2. R = Result/Relationship Balance
A “transaction” is high result/low relationship - we get what we want, and the other person is incidental to the exchange. Buying a used car is generally a “transaction”.

“Relationship-builders” are meetings, calls, and exchanges of value where developing the relationship between the two parties is far more important than the actual angible “result” outcome. Early meetings in any project are usually “relationship-builders” - what gets done is far less important than connections being made.

A true “Deal” is where there is a high emphasis on both getting what you want and enhancing your relationship for the future - this “win/win” thinking takes more time and effort, but is essential in any sort of long-term agreement. Successful political (and marital!) egotiations are always predicated on achieving this balance.

Give yourself the following test:
If you had 20 points to distribute between creating the Result you want and enhancing the Relationship, how would you do it?

Example:
Result/Relationship Balance

15/5 - Transaction
5/15 - Relationship builder
10/10 - Deal

3. O = Outcomes and Options
When it comes to negotiation, having a clear outcome, goal, or target in mind has been shown to be one of the primary determinants in how things come out.

Ask yourself the following questions:
-What specifically do I want?
-What specifically do I think they want?
-What are some plausible options that will get us both what we want?

Today’s Experiment:
1. Identify at least three upcoming or ongoing negotiations in
your life - one personal, one professional, and one internal
(you may need to get creative with this one).

Examples:
Personal -
“My husband wants to spend our tax refund on a big screen TV; I want to take a family holiday to Hawaii; our accountant wants us to put it into a real-estate trust.”

Professional -
“I want to negotiate a raise at work.”

Internal -
“Part of me wants to eat unlimited amounts of chocolate; part of me wants to look great naked!”

2. Apply the purpose, relationship, outcome and option questions to each of the three negotiations. If you’re using this to prepare for a particularly important negotiation, take some extra time to answer the questions AS IF you were the other person in the negotiation. You will be pleasantly surprised at the insights you gain from this process.

In the 1990’s, Michael Neill used to run courses in Europe and South America in ‘The Secrets of Emotional Negotiation’. One model he developed for those courses was specifically designed to maximize the effectiveness of your preparation - to ensure you put together only the most useful information and insights for creating the results you truly desire.

Michael called the model “The Negotiation P.R.O.F.I.L.E.(tm), and it has proved itself incredibly useful over the years not only to his students but in my own negotiations in business and in life.

Four years ago, Michael wrote an article about the first three steps in the P.R.O.F.I.L.E. process which has been circulating around the internet under the title ‘How to Negotiate Like a P.R.O.’.

Today’s tip is an adapted and slightly expanded version of that original. Tomorrow I will share the second half of the model publicly for the first time.

SA health minister urged to quit

A keynote speaker from South Africa at the International Aids Conference in Toronto, Canada, has called on South Africa’s health minister to resign.

Mark Heywood, head of the Aids Law Project in South Africa, said Manto Tshabalala-Msimang had minimised the role of anti-retroviral drugs.

“A minister tells people about garlic and lemons, but doesn’t tell people about anti-retroviral medicines,” Mr Heywood told delegates - a reference to certain foodstuffs that the South African government has promoted as being useful for Aids patients.

“People who follow her advice in late-stage HIV infection and take garlic and lemons will die,” Mr Heywood continued.

“People who take anti-retrovirals in late-stage HIV infection will return to health.”

Lemons and garlic were among the items displayed alongside anti-retroviral drugs (ARVs) and condoms at South Africa’s exhibition at the International Aids Conference in Toronto.

In fairness to the Minister, I hope Mr Heywood qualified his statement,”People who follow her advice in late-stage HIV infection and take garlic and lemons will die,”. Did he say that people who replaced the prescribed drug regime with lemon and garlic at the late stages of HIV infection would die?

See full story here and here at BBC.CO.UK

[Staying off the record used to be a request that was honoured. Not anymore!]

[Yes well, what can we say about this lizard or shark except that this sub-species known as lawyers are as *CENSORED* as the *CENSORED* rest of the *CENSORED* and should be *CENSORED**CENSORED* from *CENSORED* Earth!]

[Where is the bank that has a bank manager I can talk to, a call centre in UK and not India and a manager who is a respected member of the community and will not take back the umbrella when it rains overdraft and loan interest fees on me?!]

[Globally, they share the same builders' bum and gross overestimation about their abilities, costs and timescales]

[Show me a politician who speaks the truth, I'll show you Gabriel doing Tchaikovsky's 1812 solo]

[Gone are the days when choirboys could safely remove their cassocks in the vestryand not fear a molestation]

[Unless you are aux fait with disrupt v interrupt - don't wait to get verbally abused!]

[Don't rekindle old flames - more hearts get broken 2nd time round]

I’ve got the carpenter working here today. He arrived early (unusual!) but immediately engaged me in a requirements and expectation discussion. “This”, I said to myself, “is going to be interesting”.

When Jazz was last here, he worked under the auspices of the project manager and said very little. This time round he is here because I commissioned him to do some finishing off in the now almost completed rooms and he is verbose and enthused!

I put the kettle on, made the tea and we adjourned to the conservatory and sat at my 9ft long dining table where he began to reel of what he thought I needed, what he could do in that respect and also what added value he could bring to some other woodwork that required reworking that he’d noticed when he first came to work at the house. The add value work, he claimed would indeed add to the sale value of the house. He’d heard that the house is being done up for resale purposes.

So, much to my surprise I have a talented artisan and an articulate one man business owner engaging his customer in a conversation . He oozed me!!

[It's tragic to think that the Health Minister of a modern country like S Africa can advocate and perpetuate the citrus and garlic fairy tale to millions of humans facing death from AIDs and those that have been confirmed as HIV positive.]

[You'll lose yourself in the beauty of their dreams and end up paying the rent]

[I should have warned you guys to not ooze cold fish. Y'know the weak, clammy handshake person. They are bad news.]

The 1st Thing about Things is: Never delay making a decision if you can.
The 2nd Thing about Things is: Don’t Attempt This List Writing Business at Home.
The 3rd Thing about Things is: Always be Curious.
The 4th Thing about Things is: Tip Waitresses & Waiters
The 5th Thing about Things is: Remember Your Core Values.
The 6th Thing about Things is: Speak clearly
The 7th Thing about Things is: Look people in the eye when they talk to you
The 8th Thing about Things is: Be attentive to those you love
The 9th Thing about Things is: Kiss your Aunties hello
The 10th Thing about Things is: Cherish this life
The 11th Thing about Things is: Don’t put an spoiler on your car’s boot. It’s naff.
The 12th Thing about Things is: Never buy or read The Sun.
The 13th Thing about Things is: Always Ask “Why Not”?
The 14th Thing about Things is: Also Ask “How Do You Know….”
The 15th Thing about Things is: Be Creative
The 16th Thing about Things is: Be Off The Wall
The 17th Thing about Things is: Forget “Think Out The Box”. It’s so 2003.
The 18th Thing about Things is: Listen & heed the free advice from your elders
The 19th Thing about Things is: Wear striped socks
The 20th Thing about Things is: Guys must marry Miss Always Right
The 21st Thing about Things is: Floss daily
The 22nd Thing about Things is: A sodoku a day keeps the brain active
The 23rd Thing about Things is: Upgrade your brain’s programming.
The 24th Thing about Things is: Be a good citizen. You can also be weird & good!
The 25th Thing about Things is: They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. Andy Warhol
The 26th Thing about Things is: Engage Enthusiasm.
The 27th Thing about Things is: Strange how we make money to spend time - Billboard Ad
The 28th Thing about Things is: Everyone is kneaded out of the same dough but not baked in the same oven. –Yiddish Proverb
The 29th Thing about Things is: Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me. Carol Burnett
The 30th Thing about Things is: I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. Anton Chekhov (1860 - 1904)
The 31st Thing about Things is:Get the right muti to treat broken knees
The 32nd Thing about Things is:Plead with visitors to add to the list
The 33rd Thing about Things is:I wondered why somebody didn’t do something. Then I realized I am somebody - Said by Anonymous and Acidic Ice
The 34th Thing about Things is:Treat all children with respect, one of them might be in charge of changing your colonoscopy bag when you’re an old man in a retirement home. Luv from Misty.
The 35th Thing about Things is:Fuck Passion Be Devoted
The 36th Thing about Things is:Declare Your Independance
The 37th Thing about Things is:Don’t Marry Young
The 38th Thing about Things is:Don’t Do Funky.
The 39th Thing about Things is:Don’t Do Weed.
The 37th Thing about Things is:Keep Learning
The 38th Thing about Things is:Listen to Marvin Gaye
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